


the way you make me feel

by el_gilliath



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex just thinks he is, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, M/M, Michael is not dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/pseuds/el_gilliath
Summary: It should’ve started with a look. It should have ended with a kiss.It didn’t.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 28
Kudos: 110





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lambourn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lambourn/gifts).



> On the 13th of June, a very special someone had their birthday and I promised to write a story for said birthday. And then I started working full time and got very swamped so I’m late as all hells. Because of this I decided to split it into two parts so here’s number one.
> 
> Happy (very late) birthday @lambourngb, I hope this breaks your heart just the way you wanted it to.

It should’ve started with a look. It should have ended with a kiss. 

It didn’t. 

Instead Alex is alone, watching as Michael’s body is taken away. Instead he watches as the love of his life is carried into a car, the grief of Isobel and Max heavy in his mind, the sound of Liz, Maria, and Kyle crying loud in his ear. 

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

His eyes flicker to Flint for a second before he looks back at Michael. Flint actually looks sad. He doesn’t really understand why. 

“You killed him, Flint. I don’t care how sorry you are.”

“I know,” Flint replies, his voice lowering. “But he’s not dead.”

“What?!” Alex turns towards his brother. Just as the doors to the car closes, just as it drives away into the night. 

“Guerin’s not dead. But he will be in twenty four hours if you don’t find him and get him back.” Flint looks at him then, and for the first time in a long time Alex sees a hint of the brother he used to love. “Deep Sky will kill him when they find out, Alex. And I don’t know where they took him.”

“He’s my soulmate, Flint.”

“I know. I’ve always known. You’re the only one who can find him, now. Godspeed, little brother.”

With that Flint walks away while Isobel and Max start loudly asking questions, as does the human squad behind him. All except Maria. 

He turns to look at her, watches her big eyes fill with shock and horror as she learns just who she’s been sleeping with. He doesn’t owe her any explanations, doesn’t owe her anything when it comes to Michael, really, just like he never blamed her for falling in love with Michael. He’s always understood how she could, and he will never begrudge her the happiness she found with him. The happiness she gave him. But he is sad she found out this way. Because as he sees the understanding enter her eyes, he knows just as well as her that whatever she had with Michael will now be over. She will never be with him again after this and when Alex finds Michael he’s claiming the bond, how can he not after losing him.

Everything changes now. So maybe it should've started with a look, should’ve ended with a kiss. 

Instead, it starts with a soulbond. And a pissed off Air Force Captain looking for his alien soulmate. 

———

It starts with a bomb. And a kidnapping. It starts with waking up in Jesse’s basement, and being taken from there by Flint. 

It starts with him being collateral for Michael so he’ll build them the bomb. 

It ends in death. And pain. 

But before the ending, Alex is locked to a radiator, sans prosthetic, with a raging headache. 

He knows the headache isn’t actually his, but it still hurts. He knows the headache isn’t his like he knows Michael is feeling phantom pains. At least he’s feeling them in a foot that’s actually there. 

If he concentrates he can see it, the bomb Michael is building. He can see the intricate mechanics, the details that make up the bomb, the canister that holds the bio weapon that will kill Michael. But he’s still building it, still carefully putting it all together based on a schematic. All for Alex. Because he was stupid enough to get taken. 

His soulmate is an idiot. 

He feels Michael swallow a smile as Alex’s indignation hits him. He swallows a smile at the amusement sent back. Even if that indignation and amusement is a front for a much deeper feeling. Fear has always been a powerful emotion in both of them. Sometimes too powerful, at times not powerful enough. 

He tries not to let it color their back and forth of emotions, he would rather keep those positive. Especially now that he gets to have a back and forth again. It’s been lonely in his head for a long time, he doesn’t want it to become lonely again. Even though he knows it will be, when this is over and Michael goes back to Maria. 

He feels a thrill of curiosity, Michael probably picking up on his negative emotions but not knowing what’s the cause of them. He sends reassurance back, aborting his thinking about the entire situation. What matters is both of them getting out of this alive, the rest he doesn’t care about. And as long as Michael is out there building a bomb he really should not be building, Alex will do his very best to help with that. 

He continues being with Michael through their bond, watching him work, looking down at the bomb through his eyes. He can feel Michael’s gratitude so clearly, so crisply in a way he hasn’t since they were 22. The last time he was home and things were truly good between them. 

He does feel a slight sting when Michael calls him a complicated friend but he buries it deep inside. Though he can feel the uncertainty in Michael’s words, he’s uncertain about them himself. Friend still doesn’t feel right, he suspects it never will. He’s fairly sure it won’t feel right for Michael either regardless of what happens. 

He still watches, still keeps Michael company, giving him comfort as he finishes the bomb. He feels Michael’s fear as he does, knowing that he just made something that could kill him, Max, and Isobel, possibly even Maria. But something overshadows the fear quickly, something that Alex doesn’t know how to identify. It’s warmer, more inviting. Comforting. 

Alex startles when he realizes the feeling is love. It’s not a feeling he knows well, and one he’s rarely felt from Michael. 

It’s one he shouldn’t be feeling right now, with Maria out there probably worried sick about her boyfriend. But it feels good, the way he remembers from the first time they touched and the bond bloomed between them. He needs to remember how much it hurt the first time the bond closed between them so he doesn’t get used to this feeling. 

Still, he watches as Helena talks to Michael though her words are muddled. Probably because Michael isn’t really listening. Though he perks up when Helena asks him something, shooting out of his seat. Alex knows Helena is taking him to the room where he is. 

He’s still surprised when Michael barges through the door, falls on his knees and kisses him. The bond soars, more than it has in a very long time, the red bloom of love, the green bloom of safety, the blue bloom of comfort, the yellow bloom of happiness. The white bloom of complete, of cosmic, of _yes, him_.

He breaks away, wrenching himself off Michael as he looks at him with wide eyes. He’s breathing hard, as hard as Michael, both of them looking at each other in shock. It’s obvious by the turmoil between them that Michael didn’t mean to kiss him. He probably didn’t even want to. 

“How’s the bomb?” he asks, breaking the silence after a few minutes. He can’t deal with silence while his lips still tingle. 

“It’s done,” Michael replies, swallowing harshly. “The only thing they need to do is deploy it.”

“Shit.”

“Alex. There’s two bombs. One kills me.” Michael takes a break, his hand moving to curl into Alex’s. “The other kills you. Helena wants to kill your dad, and she wants him to do it himself.”

“Shooting him would be easier,” Alex mumbles, making Michael snort. 

“Yeah well Helena Ortecho is nothing if not dramatic.”

“Will it work?”

Michael looks at him and Alex doesn’t need him to say the words to know. Maybe Michael didn’t want to be someone that made destruction, he distinctly remember Michael talking about agricultural engineering when they were 17, happy and full of life, but that doesn’t mean he’s not good at what he does. He made the bomb, of course it’ll work. 

“What happened to the prosthetic?”

“Just noticed that did you? Too busy kissing me?” Alex asks, regretting it a second later. But Michael just smiles ruefully, a hand (weirdly enough sans bandana) coming up to scratch the back of his neck in the way he does when nervous. 

“Yeah. I’m-“

“No,” Alex interrupts. “Don’t apologize for something you don’t regret. You don’t have to apologize to me.”

“Yeah, I do,” Michael says. “But after CrashCon. When things aren’t so complicated.”

“Things are always complicated with us, Michael. CrashCon doesn’t change that.”

“Alex-“

“No,” he interrupts once again. “The only thing that uncomplicates us is a talk we should’ve had long ago. About everything.”

“That’s not just on me, Alex.”

“I’m not saying it is. But we’re soulmates, Michael. I’ve been with you in your mind for the last three days, watching you work, watching you create something just to keep me safe.” Alex takes a deep breath, “I’m your soulmate, and you just got down on your knees and kissed me.”

“I know.” Michael leans his forehead against his, their hands tangled in between them. Alex hadn't noticed that their hands are still tangled, but it feels good. “After CrashCon, okay? It’s not fair for me to do anything before then.”

“It might not be fair even then. She’s my best friend, Michael. Does she even know?”

Michael sighs, closing his eyes. They both know what the answer to that is, both of them too afraid to let the important woman they share know. Alex knows he should’ve told her years ago, when they were 17. Or when he came back at 28. Regardless, she doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of this big secret. 

“I have to go, Helena won’t let me stay with you for much longer,” Michael says, opening his eyes and moving away from Alex. 

“Get me out of this chain then,” Alex says, rattling the chain he has around his wrist. 

“No powers, and you’re safer here.”

“You are not leaving me in this house while there's a bomb out there that can kill me **and** you.”

“Alex, please,” Michael pleads. 

“No. You’re not leaving me here. And that’s final.”

Michael scoffs, shaking his head and opening his mouth to speak before he obviously reconsiders. Alex watches him sigh, feeling the turmoil and uncertainty in his head. A determination comes through the bond not long after. Alex is not surprised, Michael had always been stubborn. 

“I’m-“

The door opens before Michael can say more than a word, Helena entering the room with Alex’s prosthetic in her hands. 

“Time to go. You too, Alex,” she says, walking over and opening the lock on the chain and giving him the leg. She’s been weirdly motherly, something Alex doesn’t really understand. Helena hasn’t been motherly in her entire life. 

“You’re letting me go?” he asks. He still puts the prosthetic on. 

“Yes. Mr. Guerin here held up his end of the bargain.” Helena looks at him, a frown on her face. “Your brother is on his way back, you should leave.”

With that she walks out of the room, leaving Alex to stare after her. He turns his gaze to Michael, raising an eyebrow in question. Michael just shrugs, getting up on his feet. He extends his hand to Alex, who smiles as he gets up, carefully putting pressure on the prosthetic to make sure his balance is steady. 

“Guess I’m not leaving you here then,” Michael says, a wry smile on his face. The worry is back between them, but Alex knows that can’t be helped. 

“Guess not,” he replies. They both know shit is about to go down.

———

He doesn’t want to separate from Michael, doesn’t want to walk away again now that they know what’s going on. But Michael has to check in with everyone at the Pony, tell them what’s going on. Alex has to find his dad. Regardless of how he might feel about him, he knows Greg was planning on taking his kids to CrashCon, and Flint will probably appear sooner rather than later, especially now that he’s free and back on two feet. 

Flint had been patient with a hint of brotherly concern when he made Alex remove it, but that had disappeared when Alex tried to hit him with the leg afterwards. It’s always the way it is with them, a catch and pull created from years under the same roof as their psychotic father who pushed them against each other for his own sick pleasure. Alex loves his brothers, always have and always will, but they all know they won’t always be on the same side. Jesse taught them too well for them to not protect their own interests. Even when that means going against each other.

He still walks into CrashCon with trepidation, breathing calmly as he looks for his father. From what Michael told him as they were leaving the house, Jesse already has the Manes bomb, a switch made by Helena herself. It scares him that Jesse could just use it without knowing. He could potentially walk into a situation where Jesse’s already dead. Though Alex does doubt that, he would want to wait until he’s absolutely sure the aliens are there.

He finds him easily enough, standing at the edge of the crowd in his uniform, carrying a briefcase.

“Hello, dad.”

Jesse turns, scoffing as he sees his youngest son. “I thought you were kidnapped?”

“You mean secondary kidnapped, after Flint took me from your house.”

“Yes, well, your brother caught me off guard. Didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Of course he has it in him, you taught us to supersede any expectations no matter the cost,” Alex answers. He knows there’s a slight bitterness to his tone because he did not like the lessons. But in some ways that have helped in more ways than he wants to admit.

“And yet you all grew up to be disappointments,” Jesse says. Alex only snorts, too tired to deal with him. “Why are you here, Alex? Trying to tell me not to kill the aliens?”

“We both know you wouldn’t listen if I did. But that bomb doesn’t kill aliens, it kills the Manes family line.” Alex meets his father's eye. “The DNA in that bomb is yours.”

“Even for you that’s a stretch.”

“It’s not a-” Alex takes a deep breath, holding his rising anger. “Dad, would you really take the chance? Greg is here, Flint is probably here now too, and I know you hate all that I am but I’m your blood!”

“You would say anything to protect that alien of yours,” Jesse says. His voice is cold and devoid of emotion. “He’s corrupted you so completely by now that you’ll believe anything he says.”

“So you won’t listen when I tell you that the bomb you have in that suitcase will kill us.”

“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?”

“Because I was hoping that for _once_ the love for your sons would be enough to change your mind.”

“If my sons were worthy, it would have. But as I already told you, my sons are disappointments.” Jesse puts the briefcase down and opens it. “The alien threat needs to be eradicated, and none of you will stand in the way of that.”

And with that Alex’s resolve breaks. No matter what happens he will never be able to convince his dad otherwise and it breaks his heart in a way he didn’t think his heart could break since he was 14 and came out, since he was 17 and a hand was shattered in his safe space. 

“I can't let you kill them, dad. And I can’t let you kill us.”

“And how do you plan to stop me?” Jesse asks, rising with the bomb in his hand. He freezes as he hears a gun being cocked. 

“By shooting you if I have to,” Alex replies. His hand is trembling slightly, he feels nauseous and scared. But the gun is pointed at his dad and he knows his aim is true. He won’t. He never misses. 

“So you would kill me to make me stop?” Jesse laughs, low and creepy. “You don’t have the stones.”

“I’d do what it takes to save my brothers. And you, dad. You might detest me but you are still my father. And that means something. At least it does to me.”

Jesse watches him with hatred in his eyes, with disgust, disbelief and something akin to dishonor. Alex isn’t surprised. His dad has always watched him that way, always filled with all the bad emotions that no kid should ever have to see from a loved one but that he’s seen for his entire life. 

“I’m not going to let you stop me, I will protect Earth from the alien threat,” Jesse says, lifting the bomb and putting his finger on the trigger. “So if you really want to stop me. Shoot.”

Alex wavers. He knows he does. Knows that even though he wants to so bad and in many ways Jesse deserves it, he is his father and shooting someone you love is never going to be easy, shouldn’t be easy.

Unfortunately he gets lost in his mind for a second.

He refocuses to see the numbers counting down, Jesse’s smug smile taking over his entire face.

“You can’t save the aliens now, son.”

“No,” Alex replies. “I can’t save _us_.”

He makes a desperate move, calling out as loud as he can to Michael to get his brothers the _hell_ away from CrashCon as he can, getting close and pistol whipping his dad over the head as he does, taking the bomb from him. He feels Michael’s alarm, sees him telling the rest of them the same thing before he starts running. Towards Alex.

“What are you doing?” Alex asks, sending the question and fear hurling towards Michael through their bond.

“You need to get away from that bomb too!” Michael replies, running at full speed. Alex looks down at the bomb, there’s only a minute left.

“It’s too late, Michael,” Alex says. He knows he won’t get far enough away from it.

“The hell it is!” Alex hears Michael yell, watches him burst through the crowds close to him now, his hand stretched out.

“No!” Alex yells, but it’s too late. The bomb rips out of his hand, hurtling towards Michael and smacking into his palm. “Michael, you have to stop!”

“I won’t die from this, you will.” Michael takes off, changing the direction he’s running in so he goes away from Alex. He’s running fast, his legs and speed probably powered by the excellent control he has over his powers as well, eating up distance as he moves farther and farther away from Alex while the timer ticks down. “I won’t watch you die, Alex.”

Alex doesn’t answer, watching Michael throw the bomb with his powers as far as he can after the slight beep that probably signals the timer hitting zero. He watches the bomb through Michael’s eyes as it sails away, waits to see if anything will happen. He can’t feel a thing, so he’s probably safe.

He feels elation, for a second. And then he realizes.

He might not feel anything. But Michael does.

“No!” He takes off running, following the path Michael took. He can feel Michael getting weaker, can sense the blood dripping from his eyes and nose, can feel his breath stutter and shake.

He runs faster than he’s ever run before, faster than they ran at Caulfield, his prosthetic protesting his every move as he pushes onwards.

He already knows he’s going to be too late.

“Michael!” he yells, both out loud and through the bond. He’s scared, so very scared. But he needs to get to Michael. He needs him to know that he’s there.

He starts crying when he feels Michael fall to his knees, almost stumbles as he feels Michael’s heart stutter. He runs impossibly faster as Michael’s breath stops.

He falls to his knees besides Michael only a minute later, but Michael is already dead. His last thoughts of ‘I love you’ rattling around Alex’s brain.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Flint switched the bomb?”
> 
> “Yeah,” Alex replies. “Helena switched it to the Manes DNA bomb, and then Flint switched it back. But it was a third bomb, one that makes it seem like Michael was dead. It made his heart beat so slow that there was no way for me to know he wasn’t dead, and it’ll keep it like that for 24 hours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally part 2 is done! I hope you enjoy this one too dearest <3

“Flint switched the bomb?”

“Yeah,” Alex replies. “Helena switched it to the Manes DNA bomb, and then Flint switched it back. But it was a third bomb, one that makes it seem like Michael was dead. It made his heart beat so slow that there was no way for me to know he wasn’t dead, and it’ll keep it like that for 24 hours.”

“But after that?”

“If I don’t find him, he wakes up and they kill him. After experimentation, pain, and suffering, probably.”

“Thank you, I don’t need the details,” Isobel replies. She’s worried, the way they all are. “I just need to know how you’re going to find him.”

Alex steals a glance at Maria. She looks back at him, giving him an encouraging smile. “We’ve been soulmates since we were 17. We might not always be good, or even great. But our bond is strong, has been since it formed. With your help, I can find him.”

“So what do you need me to do?”

“Influence the bond. Make it stronger so that I can feel him again.”

“I can do it too, if you need it,” Maria says. Alex smiles at her. She deserves an explanation, deserves to hear it from him why he hid it from her, even when she was dating Michael. And he will give her one, just not now. He loves that she knows that and that she’s willing and capable to put it aside, even if he knows she’s hurt.

“Keep that bracelet on for now grand-niece, I’ve got this.” Isobel smirks. “Besides, I know Michael’s brain and you don’t.”

He knows Isobel doesn’t quite believe him, probably because Michael didn’t tell her either. But they didn't tell anyone. Knowing Isobel, she’ll suck it up until the worst possible moment and then she’ll lay into them in any way she wants. He’s kinda looking forward to it. Even though he knows they’re gonna have to make it up to everyone. 

“You okay to start?” he asks Isobel, walking over to a booth and sitting down. He knows he has a slight limp, can feel Kyle and Max eying his leg as he walks but he doesn’t really care. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“I’m ready when you are, Princess.” He gives Isobel a look, watches her flinch as much as Isobel Evans can flinch. “Sorry, that was rude.”

“If anyone’s the princess here, you are.”

“Excuse me, I’m a queen,” Isobel says with a sniff. 

“Yeah well, so am I.”

Maria snorts. “I thought you were a king?”

“I can be both.”

“Hell yeah y-“

“Okay, have you forgotten about Michael already?!” Max interjects loudly, throwing his hands up like a kid having a tantrum. Alex is really happy he’s not on the other side of the icy glare Isobel, Maria, and Liz throw his way. By the full body flinch, neither is Max. 

“Thank you for your delightful comments, brother dear,” Isobel says, dry as the deserts of Bahrain as she joins Alex in the booth. “It’s almost like we needed or wanted your opinion.”

“Is-“

“No. We haven’t forgotten him. You should know better than to ask.” Isobel shoots him another glare before she turns back to Alex. “You ready to start?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You?”

“No need to worry about me. I do this for a living.”

Alex huffs. He’ll never admit it because he knows it will go to her head but he does admire the easy confidence Isobel has. “Take us away Queen Isobel.”

They’re in what he assumes is the mindscape before he can blink. He looks around in shock, as does Isobel. 

“I did not expect you to let me in that easy.”

“Probably because I want you in here,” he replies. He’s not shocked that he’s telling the truth, he knows he can’t lie in here. “I can’t feel him, I know I need your help.”

“Good. If you prefer it to look different than the Pony just think of a place and it’ll take us there,” she says and the visual changes from the Pony to the shed before he can think about it too much. “Is this…”

“The shed where my dad crushed Michael’s hand? Yeah,” he sighs. “He ruined my safe space out in the real world that night. And yet in my head, that night with Michael is still the happiest I’ve ever been. Our bond started right here, you know.”

“That night?”

“Yeah. It started when we kissed in the museum, grew when we were here. My dad cemented it with his hammer.”

Isobel nods. “Your bond locked with the shared trauma.”

“That it did.” Alex looks around. “I can still feel it in here. Always could. I just feel close to him here, even in the real world when I’m close to the shed. Like our bond has a physical connection to it. Worst and best day of my life.”

“Why did you never claim it? It’s cemented and clearly in space,” Isobel asks. Her eyes are curious, full of wonder. It’s quite sweet to see. 

“Couldn’t. Between the Air Force, distance, our own issues, Caulfield, and… Maria. We would’ve burned ourselves out trying to keep it healthy. So Michael ended it. A few times, actually,” Alex replies. “It was for the best. We needed a new start.”

“How did you feel about my brother and Maria?”

“Pain. But he was happy for a little while, so I lived with it.” He sighs. “I love both of them, Isobel. Nothing changes that.”

“You’re a stronger man than I would ever be, Alex Manes. I don’t think I could watch my soulmate with someone else.”

“Luckily for you, you don’t have to. According to my research, Charlie is single and ready to mingle.” Isobel’s eyes widen in shock, and Alex can’t help but smile. “I feel like I should apologize in case you didn’t know.”

“I did. I knew the first time I met Jenna that someone close to her was my soulmate, meeting Charlie when she first came to town just solidified it. I’m just not used to someone being as observant as me though I’m not surprised, you are a hacker after all,” Isobel says, smiling in return. “We’re going to be the most antagonistic of friends one day, you and I.”

“That we will be. I guess we have to be.”

“We do if you’re going to be with Michael. I’m possessive when it comes to my brothers, I don’t see that changing.”

“Neither do I, but I need to find him, first,” Alex says. The bond has been subtly reaching all through their talk, Isobel’s mindscape helping it search in a way it hasn’t before. He can’t really feel Michael, but the remnant of the bond is all around him, spreading out slowly but surely as he talks about him. As his mind brings him back and remembers ten years of hurt, sure. But also of quiet moments, of loving and tender touches, of hungry mouths and bruising fingers. “Did you know? About him and me?”

“He did tell me, eventually. I called his closet flimsy after everything with Noah.” She grimaces at the obvious disapproval in his eyes. “Yeah I know. To my defense I had just figured out that my husband of years had been using my body and raping my mind.”

“Still doesn’t explain how you could turn around and do it to Rosa.”

“It doesn’t. And I don’t have an excuse. Call it white privilege if you want, it’s fucked up regardless. But I apologized, she cursed me out and tried to punch me. We’re good. I still have issues I obviously need to work on, but I am working on it.” Isobel sighs. “One day I’ll be free of him, and all of it. But that day is not today, or tomorrow.”

“Good for you,” Alex says, completely sincere.

“And how will your own tour of apologies and explanations go?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided if anyone is owed either, right now. I think Michael and I need to decide that together, after we actually talk.”

“Guess you gotta bring my brother back then,” Isobel answers. “Or I’ll never get my explanation.”

Alex can’t help it, he laughs out loud at her audacity. “You’re something, Isobel.”

“I’m aware,” she says with a wink. He just shakes his head and opens his mouth to reply, instead he inhales sharply as something in his stomach yanks. Their surroundings change around them, morphing from the shed, to the Pony, to the Airstream, to Alex’s house. It stops there for a moment until it morphs again. Roswell High, the UFO Museum, Crashdown, the Junkyard. Every place that’s meant something to them, regardless of the situation, regardless of the love or heartbreak. He feels himself getting nauseous as the images and surroundings spin, Isobel gripping his hand tight and yelling for him to hold on as she presumably concentrates on what is making his head spin. Alex squeezes his eyes shut to stave off the nausea for a second.

They pop open a second later as he sees Michael in his mind.

The images and their surroundings settle suddenly, focusing on the field base just outside the ruins of Caulfield, the green tents surrounded by military jeeps and research trucks. He sees Michael clearly in his mind, laying on a table in one of the tents, surrounded by medical equipment and military personnel. He looks completely still. He has no cuts or bruises on him and his skin isn’t actually blue. Even the blood has been wiped away. He looks like he’s sleeping peacefully. Alex fears it won’t last.

“Is that where I think it is?”

“Caulfield. He’s in Caulfield,” Alex answers.

The world sharpens around them as the mindscape falls away and the actual Pony comes back, Liz, Maria, and Kyle hovering nervously around them, Rosa, Max, and Jenna standing in the background as if not to be in the way, even as their worry is evident.

“You back with us?” Kyle asks, walking in close and examining both of them with his eyes. “You were in there for a while.”

“Michael’s in Caulfield, Deep Sky or whatever their name has built a small base right outside of the ruins there,” Alex answers, ignoring Kyle and getting to his feet as Kyle protests. “We need someone who can get us in.”

“No need, we already have someone,” Jenna answers. “Charlie’s a part of them, or used to be. She can get us in.”

Alex sneaks a look at Isobel at the mention of Charlie but her face betrays nothing. Only her eyes sparkle with curiosity.

“Then you better call your sister, we need to leave now. Before it’s too late.”

\-----

An hour later they’re on the road, Charlie driving one car with Jenna, Kyle and Alex with her. Max, Isobel, Liz, Maria and Rosa following in another. Alex is having the worst time sitting still in the passenger seat after he was denied driving the car. He knows Kyle was right, his knee is not up to driving for two hours after all the running he did earlier but it still pisses him off. He can feel the bond slipping in and out of his brain, like Michael is alive, there and constant one second, dead, gone and broken in the other. It swoops him into the last feelings of intense love he felt from Michael, he hears the repeat of ‘I love you’ clear as day. It pushes him out with the abrupt feelings of _gone_. 

He hears Kyle trying to talk to him, hears Jenna and Charlie discuss something of a battle plan. But he can’t follow, his hyperfocus lasered onto Michael and the brief glimpses of him. It’s weird, how he’s seeing him from the outside instead of through his eyes the way he usually does. But with the strengthening that Isobel did he figures that’s the reason. Any other reason isn’t something he’s willing to think about. 

He stays in his head for the entire ride, sliding in and out of the bond, sending Michael good feelings whenever he feels the bond respond on the other end. It’s rare, rare in a way that it was during the ten years they were more or less parted and not in the way it’s been for the last few days. Like something is there that he’s been missing. Something that he’s supposed to know well. A truly important part. It reminds him that he never wants the bond to be that closed again. 

“Alex.” He refocuses as he hears his name sharply spoken by Charlie. “We’re gonna be there in 30 minutes. You ready?”

“Yes. Can you get us in?”

“I’ll try.” Charlie gives him a wry smile. “You might need to use your last name too.”

He nods, much too used to throwing the Manes name around. “I will. I’ll use Flint’s name too if needed.”

“Good.”

He fades out again, not really listening as Jenna, Kyle and Charlie discuss something. He hearsDeep Sky being mentioned but he doesn’t care right now, he’ll worry about them later. He’ll worry about them when he starts worrying about his dad, who’s back in the hospital after the pistol whipping Alex gave him. Hopefully he’ll stay there for a long time so he doesn’t have to deal with him any time soon. But knowing his luck that won’t happen. 

Regardless of what happens, Michael is his priority now. The way he should have been a long time ago. They’ve grown and worked on being friends this past year, something they’ve needed to become a better them. Maybe he wished Maria wasn’t part of that, but at the same time he understands. Michael couldn’t be good for him, with all the shit between them. At least he got to be good for someone else. 

“We’re here,” Charlie says, stopping the car not far from the ruins of Caulfield. Alex focuses on the fence and military green base tents instead of the ruins, so he doesn’t have to think about what happened there. He knows it would devastate Michael if he knew he was here, so close to the remains of his mother and her prison. “Jenna, you and Kyle stay with the car. We’ll call you if we need you.”

“The rest of them?”

Charlie gives him a look as they get out and walk towards the gate. “Wow, you really were out of it. Parked about half an hour back, they shouldn’t be too close.”

“Jenna and Kyle?”

“Both read in, Jenna because she’s my sister, Kyle because he’s a Valenti and part of Shepherd.” Charlie gives him a reassuring look, and he’s thankful he’s not alone. “They’ll be fine. And so will we.”

He nods. He does believe her, but this close it’s taking most of his concentration not to get lost in the fluctuations of the bond. It flits in and out of existence in his brain and it’s making it hard to focus.

_Afterwards he can’t tell you how they got into the makeshift compound of Deep Sky. He can’t tell you that Charlie used her connections as a former member, he can’t tell you that he put emphasis on the _Captain_ Alex _Manes_ , he can’t tell you that a call to Flint was the last piece of the puzzle._

_The only thing he can tell you is how the visual of Michael’s body on a cold metal table almost made him puke. How the vision he had when in the mindscape with Isobel was Michael looking healthy and like he was asleep, it’s not the one he sees on that table. Michael looks cold, blue, like a sunken in version of the healthy man he supposedly was._

_He can tell you how it hurt when he tried to breathe. How he had a physical pain in the pit of his stomach, a psychological pain in the back of his mind, tearing through him as he looked at the body on that table. How that body was no longer Michael, even though it looked like him._

_He can tell you how it devastated him._

_But standing beside the man he loves, the only thing he can do is cry. Silent, deep tears that run down his face as he hears Charlie talk to the commanding officer behind him. He doesn’t know what she’s saying, or what she’s doing._

_He knows now why the bond is flitting in and out._

\-----

An hour later they’re back in the car. Charlie is driving, Jenna is in the passenger seat, Kyle is in the back seat. And Alex… Alex is safe in the warm embrace of Michael’s arms as they drive back towards Roswell.

He meets Charlie’s eyes in the mirror. For now it’ll stay a secret between them, what happened in that compound.

\-----

A day later Alex finds himself walking out of his house just as Flint parks in front of it and gets out of his truck. Both of them are apprehensive, but all the same determined. Like Manes men are.

“He was dead, wasn’t he?”

Flint walks towards him, an apologetic smile on his face. “Yeah.”

“Then how the hell is he alive, Flint? You sent me after him even knowing he was dead. Why?”

“You remember Uncle Tripp?” Flint huffs at the look Alex sends him. “He did the same thing once. The scientists at Caulfield killed an alien and he brought her back. Just laid his hands on her, cried, and suddenly she was alive again. Turns out they were soulmates. I figured if it worked for him, it would work for you.”

Something inside Alex tells him that he knows exactly who that alien was but for now he just smiles, a small smile, unsure yet happy. “Thank you, Flint. He’s alive because of you.”

“Yeah well. I might not be the best at it, but you are my brother, Alex. After kidnapping you I guess I owed you that much.”

Alex can’t help it, he laughs out loud and drags Flint into a hug. “You’re an asshole.”

“I love you too, Alex,” Flint replies, hugging him back. Alex tilts his head even closer as Flint does the same, both of them having no doubts that the other means it. Their relationship might not always be the best, both of them being who they are, but they’ll always be brothers.

“I’m going to take them down, Flint. I have too much at stake not to,” he whispers in Flint’s ear before he pulls away, looking back towards his house where Michael is resting peacefully.

“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Flint replies. “Dad can’t hold anything against me anymore. And Clay’s been against this whole thing for years.”

“Greg is in too. I guess the Manes men are going to war.”

Flint grins, his grin and Alex’s matching both in intensity and in the joy of fucking something up. The way they learnt not only from Jesse Manes, but from their mom as well.

“Hoorah.”

They part after that, quick goodbyes before Flint gets in his truck and drives away, Alex walking back into the house and into his bedroom, laying down beside Michael. They still have so much to talk about, so much to figure out. But for now the bond soars as Alex gathers Michael close, the intensity of both their love and adoration wrapping around them like a blanket.

It’s warm, safe. It’s just enough.


End file.
